Which Category Are You in?-part:2

Oftentimes, learning a new or previously unused skill actually enhances those skills already present. The person who was predominantly visual begins to put attention on the auditory system and finds that the ability to notice things in the visual domain is enhanced, their awareness improves and their experience is enriched.
So the answer to ‘Which category are you in?’ is, of course, ‘All of them, it depends on who, when, where…’ You display different behaviours in different contexts, with different people, at different times.
However, most people have adopted a particular stance in the world and are keen to hold this intact. So they create the appearance of having a consistent character. One of the ways this is done is by becoming quite good at controlling the environments we enter into. We may avoid situations where we think we might not function well and put ourselves in situations where we know we are safe and comfortable.
And we hold this stance intact so that the world will respond to us in a certain way. Why?
When the world responds to us in this certain way, we feel comfortable. We know who we are. We know we are okay. So much of our lives are organised to make sure that the world treats us the way we need to be treated. And when we find behaviours that generate the responses that we want, we keep doing them.
Some people engage in behaviours that are loud and noisy and, of course, it attracts a certain kind of attention. When the world responds in this way, they know they're okay. Others may ask lots of questions. And the world gives them attention by giving them answers. And still others do things that allow them to stay very quiet. And the universe pays them attention in a different way, a way that allows them to get what they want.
So what if, instead of having to get the feedback from the universe to know that you’re okay, you could generate this sense internally? Instead of having to do things to create this awareness, you started with this awareness intact, and then used it to generate the things to be doing?
For a start, it would allow you to have massive behavioural flexibility. All the time you've previously spent trying to get the world to respond to you would now be freed up to do the things you really want to do. You would no longer be at the whim of the universe. Instead, you begin to have the ability to create the experiences that you want to be having. Your decision making model reorganizes to shift the boundary conditions of the categories you operate within.
And you begin to influence not just the direction that you are taking in your own life, but you also get to choose the ‘You’ that is moving in that direction.
“When people are free to do as they please, they usually imitate each other.”Eric Hoffer, social philosopher

http://www.nlp-world.com/articles/whichcategoryareyouin2.html

Which Category Are You in?Dr. David McDermott

When asked to describe the personality of your best friends, you might describe them as generous, caring, intelligent and so on. We tend to think in terms of absolutes because it is easy to define somebody in terms of fundamental character traits. The importance of context and situation is often underestimated or even ignored. You might say "He's very considerate," but it would be unusual to say "He's very considerate at work, but not so in the gym and when he's driving." The qualifying statements are left out or deleted and we think of character as being a unified and all encompassing whole. This deletion is one of the fundamental processes we use when dealing with information. It allows us to deal with the world in small enough chunks so that our brains do not become overloaded. If we had to constantly qualify every statement, how could we make sense of things? How much more difficult would it be to make decisions and have meaningful conversations? However, mistakes arise when we begin to believe that this is "the way it is."
For example, if somebody tells you that a particular woman is friendly, passive and feminine, and somebody else tells you that she is independent, aggressive and competitive, who would you believe? You might think that one of them had got it wrong, or that one of them had seen her in a single situation that was not really representative of who she was. Or perhaps the aggressive independence is an outer façade, or vice versa. And, of course, nature being what it is, she can be any one or all of these at any moment, depending on who she is with, where she is, what's happening in her environment and many other factors. For example, if her child was in danger, she may display particularly aggressive and competitive behaviors, whereas with her friends she may be very relaxed and friendly.
Similar scenarios can arise when various ‘psychological’ models are employed, for example, Myers-Briggs, NLP meta-programmes, and so on. When people find out which category they are in, it seems to make sense of the patterns they have been running. This information is often used to justify particular behaviours. It is used to explain why they are the way they are, and may be used to absolve them of any responsibility for changing or doing anything about it. And once people have categorized themselves, it can be difficult for them to operate outside of this category. Especially if they have also combined logical levels as well, e.g., ‘I am lazy’, or ‘I am stupid’.
As humans we like patterns. We even create them where they don’t exist, because somehow we have developed a liking for a sense of order. And once we know what pattern or category a person fits into, we feel more at ease because now we know how to move forward in dealing with them.
Perhaps a better use of this information is to offer people the option to start operating in the categories they are not familiar with. When you consider that when people are ‘stuck’, limited or having a problem, it is often because something is missing. Add in what is missing and the situation changes.
When someone who depends on others for feedback and reassurance learns how to provide motivation from within themselves, it results in differences not only at work but also in other areas of their lives. When an ‘Introvert’ has the ability to choose the behaviours of an ‘Extrovert’, and knows how and when to choose, it becomes a different life. When a person who notices what’s wrong in every situation learns how to put their attention on what is actually working for them, and uses this as the basis for living life, more opportunities present themselves.

http://www.nlp-world.com/articles/whichcategoryareyouin.html

Reconciliation– An Exceptional Journey -part 3

The final phase is ‘implementation’. Making it happen, delivering the results. Actually doing it, live, with customers or co-workers. A spindle of grey represents continuous evaluation at every stage ensuring that the journey is en route and still the one most likely to realize the value. Plans will change and new information and ideas will emerge. This introduces change and uncertainty, but by providing a consistent way to evaluate the best route for the journey it can be maintained. Reacting to external influences in the most appropriate way according to the stage of maturity of a project provides the check and balance required for smooth transition from vision to results.
There are many organisations that leap from vision to action planning and never visit the belief, research or creative phases in any meaningful way. These cultures find themselves seduced by the perpetual adrenalin fix of fire-fighting and solving problems that need never have arisen but which feel exciting. This is a great way to squander corporate resources. These organisations are in danger of being overtaken by a competitor who has taken time, strategically, to be aware of the market opportunities and to manifest those effectively while the adrenalin culture is convinced that whatever arises, it can be fixed by a short term solution.
The “diabolo” shape also demonstrates the involvement or influence of the logical ‘process’ and emotional ‘people’ opposites as a project emerges. At the start of a project, the impact on the corporate culture is not an issue, but forthright logical business issues are. As the project moves towards realisation, the impact on people becomes greater whilst the processes of execution are simply implemented. This switch of influence during any corporate initiative is rarely considered unless things begin to go wrong.
Continuing the metaphor of the double top of conflicting opposites, consider that as soon as one side of the top increases disproportionately, the business is out of balance and can no longer spin with ease and stability. Recognising this lack of balance as quickly as possible means that simple nudges of behaviour from the leadership can establish the equilibrium once more. Leading and attending to the organisation as if it is a dynamic system will better maintain stability and growth without progression to ‘firefighting’.
Recent examples of working in the Diabolo way over a short, focused period of time delivered a 31% improvement in the leadership team’s ability to work successfully. Clarity about the company’s vision shot up by 38% and the team’s decision making capability increased by 37%. Also a highly motivated team increased their overall motivation by a further 18% and their confidence by 20%. These behaviours were measured in a consistent and clear way and form part of a range of factors that make up the ‘Diabolo Quotient’ for assessing organisational performance.
The Diabolo journey balances about the fulcrum of trust. Everything hinges on this single point—without it nothing can happen. This point is static, ever-present, and must always be there, without a fulcrum leverage cannot happen. Without a stable fulcrum maximum value cannot be realized. When the sense of the organisation’s identity and its values are connected by congruent behaviour which ‘walks the talk’ of what the organisation says it stands for, then it is easier to trust the system. Trust is a big value, it is difficult to quantify and monitor and means different things to different people. How might trust be defined for the purpose of this article? Trust might be the belief that the other party is doing his best in the interests of the shared goals.
Key stages recommended for leaders when building organisational trust:
Be clear about the purpose of your organisation and dedicate yourself to it with a passion that is inspiring for all
Establish the vision and direction for where the organisation is going •Take the right amount of time to gain alignment across the leadership group.
Build belief and courage for the journey, agreeing measures of success
Invest time in high quality understanding and exchange among your top team, saying what needs to be said in a way that it can be accepted and understood
Look to your own behaviour as the most influential role model for all your people
Communicate clearly with your team what you expect of them and then reward or discourage their behaviour accordingly
Be a model of courage, trust and confidence for your direct team and the business at large, by demonstrating ease with challenges and new and different ideas, which can be explored in pursuit of the common goal •Take the time and trouble to communicate the vision and purpose clearly and repeatedly to the whole of the organisation, in as many ways as possible and frequently
Engage with significant projects at key milestones to ensure they are aligned with the original purpose and vision
Build the confidence to have appropriate conversations in the wider arena at the most opportune time, before reaching crisis mode in a business relationship
Prioritise internal communication, information sharing and profiling as of high importance. Your people are likely to consider that your internal image is as vital as your external impact on your customers and investors
Protect your thinking time and wellbeing so that you are fresh, clear, confident and ahead of the game
Challenge yourself to learn, grow and develop beyond your present level of competence
Once trust is established it needs to be maintained. This will demand vigilance and ongoing attention to the political and cultural climate. Telling stories of success and sharing stories of change is a powerful way to strengthen and spread the culture.
In conclusion the masculine style would do well to consider embracing and sharing the feminine values in organizational life, bringing the most effective outcome for successful business. This is especially true given the complex environments and sophisticated workforce that we have today. The backdrop of innovation, relentless competition and global resourcing presents an incredibly demanding environment for leaders. We no longer have the luxury of just managing change we have to drive it in an inspiring and compelling way which engages all of our people in the spirited pursuit of the exceptional.

http://www.nlp-world.com/articles/reconciliation3.html

Reconciliation– An Exceptional Journey -part2

Some leaders have been whipping their organizations like a spinning top, a one-sided, violent, frantic behaviour that has no time to reflect, look ahead or find new ways of doing things just in case the top falls over. The shareholders’ demands for immediate returns are driving this whipping behaviour relentlessly. The spinning top is not the whole story in the search for a solution for today’s corporate challenges.
There is a need to balance and blend the corporate opposites that leaders are frequently faced with. Opposites such as:
short term versus long term
strategy or tactics
revenue and cost
emotion versus logic
innovation versus more of the same
outsourcing or in-house
risk versus security
demanding versus influencing
work or home-life
change and certainty need to be balanced.
Attending to only one brings no reconciliation of the potential conflicts inherent in the opposite choice. The juggling of a double-headed top or 'diablo' of leading a business. This double top invented in Ancient China, is made to spin by deploying two sticks and a piece of string. Whipping with one hand and bouncing with the other hand. By having the right amount of challenge and support, whip and bounce in a balanced way means that opposites can be juggled simply but effectively. This illustrates the blend of right and left working together in different but complementary ways, humming with vitality.
Explicitly, the talents of the feminine approach to organizational life, when blended with the masculine hardheaded methods of managing business, does actually deliver a more effective and productive solution. Reconciled together, these could unlock improved solutions for the complex fast-moving environments prevalent today. Male thinking does not have all the answers. A feminine revolution would also negate all that is logical and action orientated from the male perspective. This article supports neither male nor female but seeks to encourage the balance of both in equal measure.
The traditional representation of “vision to action to solution” sounds logical and is usually shown as a straight line or as an arrow, emphasising focus and drive, but this does not account for the people’s journey as the process pushes to deliver results. The process line in this ‘diabolo’ model is a blue line wave-like dynamic and flexible. In this picture the people aspects are represented by the green line. Both people and process are balanced and move in a synchronised fluid way to achieve results from the original vision.
All the talents of the right and left brain can be combined to achieve exceptional results. There is a journey to be navigated and by using all available resources the result can be achieved first time, on time, to budget. Consider the possible phases of activity that might ensure success. Having worked up the vision it is vital that the leadership team aligns behind that vision. Taking time to test the level of belief, agreement and understanding means they must establish the commitment to making it happen in the first phase. Otherwise the journey is going nowhere or it proceeds by brute force, only to stall as the political wrangling takes over. Launching something new demands quality time, interaction and negotiation to agree the strategic direction. This is the ‘belief’ stage of the journey.
Belief can be an intuitive process. The courage to make the vision happen can be fired by commitment to the common purpose. To progress the belief it may require validation and analysis in making the business case. Facts will be needed to convince doubting parties. There may be data to be gathered that will become the raw material for innovation. This is the ‘information’ phase.
Having collected all relevant data, information and research this can be used to innovate improved, creative solutions. These solutions may evolve from existing processes. This is also a time for brainstorming on the back of what is known or sensed or imagined, for thinking out of the box and for generating new ideas. Evaluation of the options in a systematic way can then refine and focus those ideas. This ‘creation’ phase is the final stage of the ‘exploration’ half of the journey. When handled well the exploration activity is a key to learning in the organization and this feeds competitive advantage.
While human beings are learning and growing the spirit is ignited and people feel valued and motivated. Taking the trouble to create a culture where ideas are welcome and risks are evaluated diligently is worthwhile and this results in motivation and challenge for team members.
Some organisations get stuck in endlessly exploring and innovating without ever producing very much in a given time frame. These corporate cultures value intellect and debate which limits action and actual delivery. The vision is rarely realized, drowned in a sea of words. Decisions drift and there is little closure or progression.
Anybody can generate ideas that feel right, but how should these get realised to create value? With the leadership belief in the vision they are striving for, all background information available and many creative concepts on the table, the decision to support the best ideas is simple. The ideas that get the “go ahead” are in tune with the organisational culture, they can be logically justified and emotionally feel right. This is where the corporate opposites diminish, form a tipping point and provide a strong platform to accelerate towards realising the value of the ideas. Crossing the moment of decision reveals the second half of the ‘diabolo’, ‘execution’. Essential to making anything happen in a complicated corporate environment is the discipline of the project or action ‘planning’. If the plan is created too early before all relevant information has been accessed, this leads to frustration in having to rework the plan as new pieces come to light. This wastes time and money. This is why effective exploration is a failsafe and assists best quality decision making.
As the plan emerges the engagement of all relevant parties who have not been included so far becomes important. ‘Communication’ of the plan and where it came from and what is expected of the wider group maintains clarity in the system. By dispelling rumours this way, maximum energy is available for delivering the desired solution. People in the organisation and also external customers can engage with the process and feel included and valued. The communication phase is one in which the leadership needs to reengage by injecting the necessary topup of enthusiasm for the launch of the solution. “If I don’t know what is expected of me how can I give it my best shot?”

http://www.nlp-world.com/articles/reconciliation2.html

Reconciliation– An Exceptional Journey

Reconciliation– An Exceptional Journey Karen Dean
Business today is battling through hurricane force winds of change. Against the backdrop of corporate scandals and global competition, the challenge for leadership is to become a decisive, inspiring model of excellence keeping the business safe and competitive, while delivering exceptional achievement. Success can be realised by unlocking the potential of resourceful individuals, who are operating effective and efficient processes, working together for a common purpose, of which all can feel proud.
So why is this model increasingly rare in today’s workplaces? In complex and confusing organizations there are many possibilities:
The behaviour of the leaders is not consistent with what they claim the company stands for, they personally are not ‘walking the talk’ of the stated corporate values
The leaders losing sight of their responsibility as guardians of the purpose of the business and showing little passion for it
Neither the ‘greater good’ nor the external competition is the true focus of attention, competitive internal wrangling is absorbing much of the available energy and activity
The leadership is failing to relate to, communicate clearly with and encourage mature, productive dialogue with the work force
Economic and market turbulence is leading to fear of failure, breeding excessive control and a lack of openness and belief in the organisation’s ability to achieve
Simple lack of attention by being too busy “doing” and “fire fighting”, consequently diluting the ability to embrace the long term strategic needs of corporate life
The overwhelming demands on time and resources, the ‘more for less’ treadmill, increasingly breeding frustration and a lack of professional fulfillment
Few decisions being made in highly complex environments, just when courageous timely action is needed most
Smaller, faster, more creative and flexible organizations coming to the market cutting a swathe through the market share
Perhaps one answer is to accept that the left-brained, straight-lined, logical, male-orientated way of doing things is simply not enough. It used to be, when there were tried and trusted action plans and obvious solutions to relatively simple problems in pursuit of the bottom line. People did as they were told and because they valued the certainty of secure employment it was a fair trade and the workforce knew where they stood, respecting authority and responding to command and control. This is no longer the case.
Kjell Nordstrom and Jonas Ridderstrale in their book ‘Funky Business’, highlight a new international, knowledge-based world of freedom and choice. They say “institutions used to work to create certainty. Now, the certainties are withering. Blind loyalty has died. We no longer proclaim lifelong loyalty to institutions, no matter what they are or what they do. We shop around.” They go on to say,“ We have the power of choice.” The impact for companies is that they have to look to all aspects of their performance. Leaders need to make the environment in their business an inspiring place to be. They need to attract and retain talent for competitive advantage, unlock the spirit of the work force to achieve the vision and results, navigate change and uncertainty within the market place, innovate the best options, as well as deliver cost effective processes and drive revenue. It’s a tough call.

http://www.nlp-world.com/articles/reconciliation.html

The Macho Test

The Macho Test
One of the most irritating aspects of day-to-day communication is when you are trying to convince someone who takes a Macho attitude. Women are often dismayed to find that while amongst ourselves we can build on and critique each other's ideas, it is sometimes much more difficult to do this when male colleagues are involved.
And sometimes even women become Macho !
When a person is running a Macho Pattern, they operate as if they believe the following:
They already know everything there is to know.
They do not have any problems; they and everything connected with them are perfect.
If there are problems, they are of someone else's making.
They are better, higher, more important, more knowledgeable than any one else.
How many times have major decisions been made to assuage someone's ego or simply to not lose face? Just listen to radio interviews. When the interviewer asks if someone were surprised by the turn of events, rarely if ever will the person admit to being surprised. That would be saying that they did not already know everything there is to k now. Once I sold a training program with optional follow-up coaching. No one took up the coaching offer because that would have meant conceding they needed help. Now the coaching is just part of the training program.
All of us become Macho at times. Notice your reaction when one of your parents tells you what to do! To make sure that even someone who has become Macho will consider your ideas, you could use the Macho Test as an editing technique. While I have formalized the Macho Test, you may have already done something like this yourself to make sure your important messages get through.
Write the document or prepare what you are going to say using the 4 step formula for presenting ideas to skeptical people. Then look it over and ask yourself the following questions about what you have prepared.
Is it anywhere stated or implied that:
There is something they don't already know,
I am telling them what to do,
They have a problem and I have the solution,
They are not perfect in some way, and/or
I am better than they are in some way.
If any of the above are stated or implied, it does not pass the Macho Test!
You may wish to rephrase as follows :
As you probably know…(then state the thing you suspect they do not know )
Use the language of suggestion: You may wish to consider…
I understand that other organizations have had this issue and what some of them have done is…How have you s o l ved this problem? (implies they have already solved all the problems )
With your experience and knowledge in this area…
Your role is…My role is…(establishing different yet equal roles)
Next time you get the sense that if you present a 'new' idea, the person will deny it's actually new, try suggesting that it may be something they have already considered. You probably already know exactly who the Machos are in your life. I find that once I rephrase to pass the Macho Test, the people I'm addressing stop being Macho and become more willing to participate in the free flow of ideas. I published an article entitled: " Te n Tips for Surviving the Health Care S y s t e m . " The title passes the Macho Test as "tips" are only suggestions. It would not have received nearly as much attention had I entitled it: "Te n Rules for Getting Through the Health Care System."
From my years helping people solve communication problems, I have learned that most of the effort is in getting someone into a mental and emotional state of openess, where they will be able to hear what I am saying. When we are successful at getting people to listen and take us seriously, it is because we have cleared enough mental space in the other person for our words to go in.
All the Skeptics in the World When preparing for an important meeting or a speaking engagement, pretend that the people you will be addressing are skeptics. Imagine they are busy, don't want their time wasted, d o n 't want to be blamed for the ills of the planet, that they need to be given a good reason to give you some of their precious time and that any flaws in your argument will be cause to dismiss you. While this may at first seem pessimistic and unnecessarily negative, it motivates one to rigorously prepare for each and every audience.
While most women are not constantly on the stage, there are times when a little thought and preparation will go a long way to making communication e a s i e r. It really doesn't take much time to think through the 4 step process: W h a t 's my main message? What are the possible objections? What common experiences provide proof? Open with the objections and common experiences and link to the main message.
Then do a couple of Sanity Checks, add in The Language of Suggestion, pass the Macho Test and you are ready to convince professional nay sayers and perhaps even your spouse or your kids! Skeptical? The only way you'll know for sure is to try it out for yourself.

http://www.nlp-world.com/articles/presentingideas-thelanguageofinfluence.html

Presenting Ideas To Skeptical People Part 2: Mastering the Langauge of Influence

Mastering the Language of Influence
When someone is in a mode where they hear only the flaws in your arg ument, when they don't want you to tell them what to do and they could be easily unconvinced again, you need to use special language. Here are some suggestions from which you could choose each time you want to persuade someone. These phrases will help prevent your ideas from being dismissed and to increase the chances you will get a good hearing.
The Language of Suggestion
" Here 's an idea you may wish to consider."
"Only you can decide what you don't like and what isn't bad."
"Each time you think about this you'll know whether or not it fits."
" It 's not up to me to tell you what to do."
" You know what is and isn't important ."
Notice that with the above phrases, you are offering information and inviting the person to decide for themselves. It is easier for skeptical people to take in information offered this way.
I bought some new furniture for my living room and knew that I needed to repaint. I hadn't a clue what colour would go with my burg u n d y, royal blue and forest green print sofa. I asked Simone to help. "Do you see this taupe thread going through the print?" she asked, "Well the wall colour has to be taupe." Has to be? I was annoyed. I was not prepared to be told what colour I had to paint my living room. Then Sandra came over to help. "What colours do you like best in your sofa?" she asked. When I said the burgundy really attracted me, she showed me a range of burgundies to highlight that colour in the sofa and helped me figure out which one I liked best. At no time did she tell me what to do. She merely gave me information and asked what I thought.
When someone tells us something in a directive manner, we often reject what is being said, without truly considering it.
The Sanity Check
In my office we regularly do a doublecheck before sending important documents out. Whether it's a sales document, a report, a marketing piece, we do a Sanity Check. We shift into the receiving person's point of view, (Second Position) while reading the document and ask ourselves: "Is this a sane thing to have said to them?" We also ask how will this affect the relationship we have with them. (Third Position) We call this the Sanity Check
Create Your Main Message
Identify Objections
Find Common Experiences that Prove Your Po i n t
Create Your Opening Using Objections and Common Experiences
Imagine if you did a Sanity Check before you sent things out to be read, or before a presentation or sensitive discussion. Imagine asking: "If I say this, how is that going to be perceived? How does that affect our relationship?"

http://www.nlp-world.com/articles/presentingideas-thelanguageofinfluence.html